Poem #10 from Ahmed Douma’s ‘Curly’
By Ahmed Douma
Translated by Ahmed Hassan and Elliott Colla
This throng of questions wounds
Especially when the situation is “silent.”
Loneliness eats at my mind
And so I begin to fume and babble.
With no one around, I find
That my resurrection has come.
This swarm of questions is a kind of madness
That begins with Why was I created?
It drags me down a road
That ends with Whose side
Was the Lord on?
With those living who seek
To avenge Hussein’s death?
Or with street dogs?
Put differently, At this very moment
Where was the Lord’s heart?
In Lazoghly or Tahrir Square?
I am not referring to who won and who lost,
It’s just that I can’t understand
The wisdom behind everything that’s happened
While He – All Respect to His Almighty Power –
Still insists on silence.
Alienation is a kind of death.
The fray called to us.
Before the appointed moment
We wore no caution
We were stripped of experience
And dreams alone cannot challenge
Nothingness.
Especially when we are held in treachery’s embrace.
Then, what if Hope itself
Is what betrayed us,
Giving up the Game to despair?
At that moment, you will live in no homeland
But that of your alienation, your exile.
At that moment, Faith cannot survive
Except in the impossible.
So:
Glory belongs to the alienated, the foreigners, the strangers of every age and era.
And power belongs to the bastards and street dogs.
زحمة السؤلات بتئذي
خاصة والوضع “صامت”
تنهش الوحدة ف نافوخي
..فابدأ أهذي
_والقى _ دون الناس بحالها
قيامتي قامت
زحمة السؤلات جنون
تبتدي ب ليه اتخلقت؟
ثم تسحلني ف طريق
آخره : هو الرب كان
منحاز لمين؟
ل اللي عاشوا بيطلبوا
دم الحسين
ولا ل كلاب السكك؟
يعني: هو ربنا في اللحظة دي
كان قلبه فين؟
في )لاظوغلي( ولا في )الميدان( ؟
مش قصدي حسبة مين هزم ولا اتهزم
إدراكي عاجز ع الوصول
للحكمة ورا كل اللي كان
_وهو _جلّت قدرته
لسّاه مصمم ع السكوت
الغربة موت
والمعمعة ندهت لنا
..قبل الأوان
كنا عرايا من الحذر
متجردين م التجربة
والحلم _وحده_ مش مكافئ
للعدم
بالذات في احضان الخيانة
فما بالكو لو إن ” الأمل”
هو اللي خان
وسلّم الGame للقنوط ؟
ساعتها مش هتعيش وطن
غير غربتك
وساعتها مش هيدوم إيمان
غير بالمحال
فالمجد ل “الغرباء” على مر الزمان
.و”السلطة” للأندال ولكلاب السكك
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Elliott Colla teaches Arabic literature in Washington, DC. Ahmed Hassan is a lawyer and translator in Cairo.
*
Also read:
Let Us Spell Out Life: Prison Writing by Ahmed Douma